Kaoru's first-ever Christmas in Canada is also her first-ever Christmas without snow. That just doesn't seem right, does it? But don't fret. That disappointment was offset by her first-ever Massive Gifting Event™, now with extra chocolate

We got a fake little tree and dressed it up in expensive ornaments. The nice thing about a small tree is it can't handle too many ornaments anyways, so you can buy just a few really nice ones without it costing too much.

If you look closely at the present photos, you'll see that there is even something for Eutychus. We were going to get her her own little juice cup, but she doesn't care (as long as she gets the juice) so we just use an old soy sauce cup from Ajisai. But she got a custom-made card from Kaoru. It says, "please stop biting me so much."

The family Christmas day was excellent. The food was fantastic but the company was better. It was also a nice opportunity for photos. I'd actually like to get quite a few more, but I don't like sticking that big lens in peoples faces too much.

Happy holidays, everyone, and have a great New Years!

I got a call from Yusuke in the afternoon: "Hey Josh! Naoki Jo is playing at the Alibi Room tonight at 8 o'clock. You should come. Bring my ukulele."

Yusuke's been asking for his ukulele back for a few weeks now, but every time I call him and offer to bring it back, he says it can wait until next week. Which is fine with me - it's fun to record with. It has a very different sound than most ukuleles.

But the timing stunk. Friday night is pretty much the only night that I'm busy. And starting at 8 is way too early. But somehow we made it, with the ukulele and the camera.

Naoki was excellent, the food and ambience at the Alibi Room were fantastic, there were a strangely high number of cute kids, and Kaoru looked gorgeous. All in all, it was a good night for everything.

I'm going to squash the last three days in Sapporo into one photo gallery. It was three of the same thing - dinner. The first night was dinner in Susukino with Kaoru's parents. The next night, dinner at the Lees'. Finally, a date with my girlfriend.

Dinner #1 was pleasant, but brief. Kaoru's parents don't like to wait. We almost had to run to keep up with them. The restaurant itself was fantastic, but that's hardly remarkable. A mediocre restaurant would be more noteworthy. They've been very nice to me, especially considering I'm stealing away their only child.

Dinner #2 was a show put on by Kai and Sawa. Last year, Sawa was shy and barely said a word. (Actually, she seemed to be more pissed off that we were invading her territory.) This year, though, she's the star attraction. She refused to perform her classic routine (mocking English like a schoolyard bully), but still kept us laughing. Kai patiently held up almost everything within reach for me to photograph. That kid will be a great assistant some day, mark my words! Oh, and it was tapas night at the Lee Abode. Mmm...

Dinner #3 was special. The first time I had dinner with Kaoru was at a restaurant called Nakura, in Shin Sapporo. I'm guessing that it will be a while before I go to Sapporo again, so I wanted to go there again with Kaoru, now that we've been together for a while. Also, it has good food. (Which is hardly remarkable.)

And that was my last three evenings in Sapporo. The next day, I took the train to the airport and came back to Vancouver through Osaka. I got home to a house with no roof and strange men in my suite, but that's another story.

Who knew Hakodate had such a rich history? Not me. Who knew Mister Donut makes a donut that looks strangely like chocolatey buttocks? Not me. Who knew Japanese dioramas are incredibly detailed, down to the fabric wedged into a butt crack of a figurine no more than a few centimeters tall? I didn't before, but now I do know it and I'm the better for it. If I could only read the history, I might know more about that guy bringing up the rear. Ha! Punny!

Let me tell you what I've kinda figured out about Hakodate's history from a variety of sources, not all of them totally reliable and not all of them totally English.

In 1853, Americans had gotten tired of not being able to buy stuff from or sell things to Japan. I mean, enough is enough. If you're going to have cool products, you have to share. Kicking out (or killing) the proselytizing religious folks is understandable (they're annoying), but you just can't get in the way of money without money coming up to you with a cannon and threatening you with violence. And so that's what happened. Needless to say, it had a big impact on the country, but who cares? All we care about is that Hakodate was one of only two ports opened to the outside world.

Wait. Is that right? Only two ports opened and one of them was Hakodate? Really? Does that seem odd to anyone else? It wasn't even given city status until 1922! Maybe it was their way of saying, "Okay okay okay. We'll trade with you. But you have to go over there, where we don't have to look at you." At the time, Hokkaido was known as Ezo (which made finding all this history VERY difficult) and had only really been populated by the Japanese for about 600 years, and even that was pretty sparse on the second-largest island in Japan. The Japanese who first started to live there were getting away from battles, which of course led to a big battle with the indigenous Ainu.

(Sapporo is the Ainu name for the area upon which that great city is now built. In a time-honoured tradition, the Japanese asked the Ainu what they called the place. After finding out, they told the Ainu that the time had come for them to leave this place they called "Sapporo". For other examples, read about the French and "kanata" or the English and "Everywhere". "Hey, great place you got here. What do you call it? Yeah? Nice name! Well, time to go... No, I meant it's time for YOU to go.")

Anyways, back to the big changes in Japanese culture that I glossed over before. Not everybody was happy about them. That led to some bickering and whatnot and eventually a group of pissed-off Navy folks, samurai and also some token Frenchmen claimed Ezo as their very own, basing themselves in a fancy-pants, star-shaped European fort in Hakodate and calling their new nation the Republic of Ezo. They even had an election. But it didn't last long. They were the last clog in the drain of the Old Way and were removed to make way for big changes. (A few years later, though, Tom Cruise joined up with the remaining Angry Samurai - who were either distressed by the change in culture or income, it's hard to say - in the Satsuma Rebellion. That happened somewhere else, though, so we'll just ignore it. Besides, Tom Cruise sucks.)

So Kaoru and I stopped in at Mister Donut, where we bought some donuts (and I took photos) and then dropped in at Goryokaku fort, which is special in that it's star-shaped and you can take an elevator up to a tower to look down at it (and from the other side of the tower, the rest of Hakodate and the ocean). Then we went down to the harbour area to look at the fresh seafood again, shop at the shops (I bought her the necklace she wanted), and then up to the lookout on the hill to watch the city lights come on as the sun went down. It was nice, but it was also COLD and crowded, so we bailed early and managed to get some dinner before catching the train back home.

Travelling in Japan is all about three things: 1) Food. 2) Nice views or onsen. 3) More food. They have guidebooks everywhere that are more like magazines than books. They're in magazine format, have lovely glossy photos (mainly of food, but also a few landscapes) and I'm guessing that they're updated frequently. Kaoru bought a guidebook for Hakodate a few days before, so we had a decent idea of what awaited us there (it was food).

We started off at the fresh fish market across the street from the train station. (Handy, eh?) After stuffing our luggage into a koin rokka (coin locker), we were freed up to meander around the city, but first: food. As you might have guessed, a port city in Japan is probably going to specialize in seafood. Of the raw variety. On rice. No surprises, here. We had raw fish on rice. Sorry, I should say that Kaoru had raw fish on rice. I had fish tempura on rice. While I'm willing to eat many types of sashimi, the types that seem to be the most popular are not my favourites. Fish eggs, sea urchin and squid all get a thumbs down from me, but I did have some of Kaoru's scallops. She had my squid tempura. I don't even like it when it's cooked.

Hakodate was one of the very few ports to be opened up to the larger world back in the 1800's, so it has some interesting history in that regard. There are eastern orthodox churches and catholic churches on the hillside, right beside some classic Japanese temples. Even more interesting to me, though, was the cafe where we stopped to warm up (it was windy and COLD outside) and sitting at the table next to us were two black labs. They seemed to be content and, to be honest, a little stand-offish. But when I got up to say hello to them, they bounded down from their seats as though it was the only attention they had been given in years. The proprietress hastened over to get them back onto their seats with stern words and smacks. I guess I got them into trouble...

The next place we went to was a museum built out of the old, reconstructed town hall. If I read the snatches of English correctly, Hakodate was the orginal capitol of Hokkaido before it was moved to Sapporo. Maybe that's why they have a special display of a room called the Emperor's Toilet! But apart from a toilet built for an emperor and some cool old cameras, what we liked best there was the heater. It was in the center of one of the rooms. We started off in that room and ended up there, too. Mmm... warm.

That was enough of the tour of Hakodate. It was time to check in at the hotel, have dinner and then try onsen for the first time. First time for me, anyways. The hotel itself was amazing; in-room onsen and an in-room dinner that was mind-blowing. I eventually stopped taking photos of it because there was just so much amazing food. I was overwhelmed by it all. This trip and hotel was a little present to me from Kaoru and I don't think she could have impressed me more. I want to live there. She's welcome to join me. ;-)

This gallery begins and ends with my reason for being here, although I might get in trouble for the first photo. It's a photo of Kaoru cooking me dinner and I think she has a rather classic Japanese bi-jin (beautiful woman) look, like the ones in old drawings. All the photos in the middle provide even more reasons to be here, too; yummy reasons.

I've been criticized by one nephew for eating Japanese food. His brother also recommended that I get rid of my Japanese girlfriend in favour of one who lives closer or - better yet - have no girlfriend at all. To me, these sound like the ravings of madmen. They may as well tell Shaq he's too short or Pamela Anderson her Golden Globes are too small. As Dr. Frasier Crane once said, in the good ol' Cheers days, "Is the sky blue in your world?"

Kaoru and I are both still in agreement that I am a very lucky man to have such a girlfriend. It has nothing to do with her being bi-jin, even though she is. And as for the food... well... you can see for yourself. Oishisoo, ne?

It all starts at Kushidori (trans: skewer bird) where we blissfully partook of the yakitori (trans: burnt bird) and nama (trans: draught beer). (The person that not everyone will recognize is Hiro. Say hello to Hiro, everyone!) That place is like heaven for me. I understand that there are much better restaurants with much better food, but to me it has the greatest combination of food, price and ambience. It has a friendly pub-like quality to it. The people there all seem to be having a good time and when you sit at the bar (there are only a few tables) you get to feel like you're a part of that vibe.

After Kushidori we went to Jersey Bar for a drink, but it just wasn't happening. For one thing, we sat upstairs where you have to sit on the floor. I just can't do that without feeling incredible amounts of pain and discomfort. Maybe give me a few years of yoga, first. Also, we felt like doing something a bit more active, like darts or pool. (Yes, only a BIT more active.) So we moved on to Sluggers (batting cages and billiards) but it was too busy. A few years ago, we'd been to a bar called Hollywood that had darts, so we walked around in the hopes of finding it. It took a little while, but find it we did.

Kaoru was working the next morning, so after some drinks and darts we bowed out, leaving Jason and Hiro to move along to Booty Disco, home of the delightful unisex washroom. Oh, the wacky hijinks!

One great thing about flying long distances is you can get a lot of reading done. Unless, of course, you're the type of person who doesn't like to read. Or if you're the type of person who can sleep on a plane. I myself am the type of person who can't sleep on a plane and loves to read. So I managed to read a few hundred pages of Neil Stephenson's Quicksilver. I think, though, that I did get some sleep. For one thing I would, from time to time, suddenly realize that my eyes had been closed and it felt like I had gotten some rest. I'm not used to that on a plane, so I noticed it right away. I also missed some key scenes in Aeon Flux. Either that, or it was just a really confusing movie.

Anyways, the flight was all quite smooth and I was greeted by Kaoru at the gate in Sapporo. We took the train to her neighbourhood and stumbled into a restaurant to fill our empty bellies. I thought I was pretty hungry, but Kaoru had barely had anything to eat all day, so she was in worse shape than me.

The next day (my first full day in Sapporo) was set aside as shopping day. Kaoru had the day off work and I wanted to buy some clothes. So I did. One challenge for me here is the sizes. These clothes just aren't built for european shoulders (or, sadly, bellies). The shirts look and feel awesome when I'm standing still. But if I want to move my arms, there is some resistence. I will never play football or frisbee in my Japanese clothes, unless I want to do the Lou Ferrigno Hulk thing. Grrr!

On full day two, a Friday, I was picked up by Jason in his new van. There's no real reason for us to have driven anywhere - it's just as easy to take the subway, but there's nothing like a new toy. Hell, I'm excited about my new wallet. There's nothing even remotely special about it other than the fact that it's new, but I take it out of my pocket as often as possible just to remind myself that I have something new. New is good, like the new shirt I'm wearing today or the other new shirt I wore yesterday. Or like the new Japanese language book I bought. Or the new pants that I might get, as long as I promise to lose a few pounds. Because if the shirts here are a little snug, the pants are... Grrr!

Okay, so Jason and I drove to the Factory, which used to be the Sapporo Beer factory, but is now a mall. It still has a lot of the old brickwork, and even a functional beer-making-thing. Mmm... We got there before it opened, though, so we walked a few blocks to the Tully's Cafe and had a drink. Then we walked back and got lost in the mall. Then we ate some good food (I took pictures - see for yourself) at a place called the Bier Kellar. They have Guinness there for just 1050 yen! That's only, like, $12 CDN! Cheap (if you're stupid)! I had some of the beer that they still brew at the Factory (Mall). It was overpriced, too, but it was something worth experiencing.

Then we got lost again.

After finding our way out of the mall, we went back to Jason's house and I hung out with the family for a while. Kai and Sawa were as cute as ever, of course. I talked to Hiromi and Ayumi a little bit, but mostly we were all just entertained by the kids.

Then I went downtown by myself and got lost trying to find a place that would sell pens and paper.

Grr!

I don't know most of the people in this photo gallery. Maybe that's why they're all flipping me the bird. Or maybe I'm just deserving. Either way, they were drunk enough to request some K-Fed. And if I recall correctly, a woman joined us for a short time who was celebrating her birthday. I only recall that because of the Mr Big she's holding. I think some other random guy at the bar gave it to her, claiming that he always carries something special in case it's someone's birthday.

Anyways, Brent was playing a special one-nighter. I helped post bills and was promised a beer for my efforts. I was given the bird. So I'm ending it with some photos of the wooden truck that sits on our window sill. I wonder whose that is. I have no idea.

I wanna hear some K-Fed!

Family gatherings, that is. This was the big one. This was the whole family together in one place for the first time in ten years. It was, understandably, a big deal for Mom. What made it cool for me was being able to include Kaoru, who impressed me by taking it all in stride. Trust me: 20 Gemmells in one room is not the easiest thing to have to deal with. I think she handled it better than I did.

There was a miniature ice rink on the back porch. There was a huge meal. There was a singalong. There was a present opening ceremony. There was coffee and desserts and political talk (zannen). There was a harp performance and a violin performance (which were both actually practices).

As a special bonus, I made a Christmas Card using a photo from the evening that everyone can print out and use, free of charge! It's at the end.

I thought it would be pretty special to show Kaoru one of the Gulf Islands - they have a certain beauty and vibe that is very Pacific Northwest. It also works out perfectly that Clint and Erin could meet her and we could go to Clint's cabin on Gabriola Island.

So we went to Whistler.

Cold, snow and mountains; Hokkaido has none of those things. Actually, Hokkaido is all about those things, but we didn't really think about that beforehand. At any rate, we had a great time together and Whistler was pretty cool until the cool convinced us to go back home. (Samui!) In an alley back home we found a pigeon in dire straits, but that's a story for another time.

The evening of October 12, 2005 was boring.

With nothing much to do, I decided to take Mom's complaint of there being too few photos of me (which is definitely debatable) and run with it. I wallowed in solipsistic bliss. I had a camera, a tripod, a light source and two hands. That's enough for some moody self-portraits.

And moody, they are. Unfortunately for Mom, this is not my most... pleasant look. Is it?

My little vanity time was cut short, however, by some puppy sitting. And then I noticed that I still had the camera and two hands! A better light source would have been nice, especially when taking photos of a dog that doesn't seem to have eyes. But all in all, when you bump the ISO up to 1600, the little available light just seems to glow and supersaturate. It gets grainy, too, but that's okay. Grainy can look cool.

BONUS: There are now some extra photos of Jersey and Eutychus interacting. About half of those were taken by Paul.

I'm thankful that I'm not crazy like the rest of my family. No, seriously. They're all at least a little bit crazy. Well, except for Dad. He's totally crazy. :-P

Dinner was excellent. Conversation had its ups and downs, but I'd say it was mostly up, in spite of what I consider to be lunacy. But hey, as Wash once said, some people juggle geese. Who am I to judge? I'll leave that to the nauseatingly judgemental; and the mental. And the tall; always looking down at the rest of us. I'm the tallest in my family and I say they're nuts.

With the possible exception of Mom. I got some good photos of Mom and that's all I really wanted. Well, that and the food. Which reminds me of the other title I was considering using: Home Is Where The Food Is.

I've got some asian food in the fridge here at home.

JOSH: I'm a very lucky man to have a girlfriend like you.

...pause...

KAORU: I think so.

I'm pretty sure that I said that around the time of my birthday celebration and not the Sapporo Beer Museum, but it applies nicely to both. Two days before my departure, Kaoru and I visited the Sapporo Beer Museum, or as I like to call it, A Taste of Heaven. It's actually a pretty cool museum, with the neatest little dioramas that document the beer-making process I've ever seen.

Yay, beer!

In between the Beer Museum and the Birthday are photos of my first time eating soup curry - one of the latest hip foods in Sapporo - and rainy Nakajima Park. Look! Ducks!

The next day (the 13th) was my last full day in Japan. Kaoru wanted to celebrate my birthday with me and to be honest, I liked it. Normally I don't like to celebrate my birthday, except to have dinner with my parents, but this was nice. She took me shopping and bought me some new clothes and then out to yet another amazing dinner. It was perfect, except for the leaving the next day part.

I was going to title this gallery "Lucky", but I figured it was probably too obvious. Happy Birthday to ME!

Wow. I should have posted this a long time ago.

Way back in 2001, I flew to Montreal to visit Pat and Pascal. It was the end of my second season on the road. It was also the end of my last season on the road. I had done an excellent job of not kissing any suited arses and so my days were numbered, but I didn't care too much. The more time I spent working for suited arses, the more time I had to spend with them. None of us were thrilled. But I had had two excellent years of touring the world (and my experience matched the seeming perception of Americans - most of the world IS the U.S.! Hello, Sheboygan!) and had made some awesome friends.

That's where Pat and Pascal come in. I was quoting Monty Python when Pat first walked into my life and I didn't know it at the time, but we were friends. It was Monty Python that led to Pat and Pascal meeting in the first place. So to Graham, John, Michael, Eric and the Terrys - Thank you!

This was so long ago and I've been to Montreal so many times that I can't quite recall all the details. It's pretty obvious that we spent some time with Pat's birds. I got to meet her parents and likely her sister Juliana. I know we took some photos down by the river and I got to experience cold like I've never felt it before. Damn, it gets cold back east! I was there for New Years and I think this was the time that we got into Les Deux Pierrots. I've never seen an entire bar get into the spirit like that. I want to go back!

It's my other home. I guess I have three, now: Vancouver, Montreal and Sapporo. Why do two of them have to be so cold?

Imagine my excitement when I realized that I was looking at some Japanese writing and understanding it. That was later in the day. In the beginning, there was KFC. That one was easy to read - it's English!

Good ol' Kentucky Fried Chicken. It somehow made it across the Pacific Ocean to Japan, where it's expensive and just as disgusting as the North American versions. So of course I had to have some. This was at Maruyama Koen, shortly after we unwittingly walked past Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi in Odori Park.

KFC is yucky, but Maruyama Koen is beautiful and serene and the Hokkaido Shrine is lovely. Also, there are millions of dragonflies in Sapporo. It's incredible. They're everywhere. They kept landing on Kaoru.

Later that day, Kaoru and I went to Jason and Ayumi's place for dinner. As we approached the house, I looked down at the kanji on the wall and was surprised to find myself reading it. I bought a few books to help me learn kanji, but it's bloody difficult stuff. The shapes have little or no relation to what they represent and there are soooo many that look the same. Also, there can be 8 different ways to pronounce one character, depending on circumstances!

水口 ... One way to pronounce that is mizuguchi. Mizu is water and guchi is mouth (or opening or gate). So I glanced at those two characters and "mizu guchi" popped into my head. That's Ayumi's family's name. I can read! Woo hoo!

I should point out here that some of these photos were taken by Kaoru and some by Jason. In fact, my favourite of the whole set is the one of Sawa resting on Ayumi's arm, near the end. Jason took that photo. It's fantastic.

I should also point out that Ayumi is an incredible chef. Wow. It was a fantastic meal and even better company. Thank you very much!

Miwa is Kaoru's best friend so we had to meet at least once! Why not over a delicious lunch at an Italian restaurant? Why not, indeed! Especially when the restaurant in question has a great lunch deal: two salads, a main dish (choose your pasta and sauce) and a dessert with coffee or tea, all for 1260 yen. Mmm... I had a seafood fettucini and some kind of caramel cheesecake or something.

It's easy to see why these two are such good friends; they both have such kind, sweet hearts. Miwa knows English better than she's willing to admit, so we talked a little bit less than we could have, but there'll be more opportunities I'm sure.

Mind you, there wasn't too much for me to say anyways. Kaoru and I as a couple was overshadowed by Miwa's news that she had met a guy and... well... let's just say that she'd be happy to see him again. They had, in fact, gone on their first date at this very restaurant. Pictures were shown and Kaoru and I both agree that he looks like he's a very nice, gentle man. Best wishes to a beaming Miwa!

After we parted ways, Kaoru and I went to Odori Park and took some photos. The last photo from this day is an unfortunate one. Some women who seem to work at a daycare arrived at the park just as we were leaving, with cribs full of kids. Seriously. They put wheels on cribs and transport the kids that way! It looked so cool, but I had already put my camera away so I only got one photo and it's lame. While I was fumbling with the camera bag I missed out on one shot in particular that was soooo cool. But you'll never see it.

The next day, I met Jason at good ol' Jersey Bar. Kaoru had a staff party to go to, so for the first part of the evening I was on my own. I sat down, nursed a cheap beer (on Tuesdays Sapporo Classic is just 250 yen) and smiled at the bartender. I remembered Naoko from last year, but it was pretty obvious that she didn't recognize me. I didn't care. I had what I wanted: beer.

Jason showed up, made Naoko embarassed that she didn't remember me, then we had another beer and went over to Kushidori for dinner.

Oh, Kushidori, sweet domain of the gods, how I love you!

You can see for yourself just how heavenly it is. And if you can't see how it could be heaven, I don't care. That just means I don't have to share any with you! Ha!

Kaoru managed to escape her coworkers and met us just as we were finishing. What to do next? Karaoke, of course! My fifth time in Japan and I still hadn't done karaoke. It's part of my famous things about Japan that I haven't gotten around to yet set: sushi, karaoke and onsen. I've now technically done onsen (feet-only) and karaoke. All that's left is sushi, but it's probably the least special thing about Japan for someone from Vancouver. Aren't there more sushi places in Vancouver than all other restaurant types combined?

Okay, so the deal with karaoke is: I can't sing any of the songs we picked. For reasons unknown to us now, we started with Chim-Chim-A-Nee. Then I sang "This Guy's In Love" to Kaoru. How could I not do a song that Herb Alpert covers? Monty Python's short song "Sit On My Face" got a little play. Also, I tried my best to hit all the notes in "In A Big Country" and I failed miserably. That one hurt.

Good thing I had been drinking.

Kaoru's aunt (Kyoko), uncle (Toshiaki) and cousin (Azami - with husband Kou) live in another region of Hokkaido. It's a farming area called Tokachi and the city they live in is Obihiro. Toshiaki and Kyoko have a restaurant - Hanabuki.

My first weekend in Japan, Kaoru and I took the train to Obihiro to meet her relatives. We stayed at Azami and Kou's house. Kou was in Thailand on business, so I didn't get to meet him. Maybe next time! I saw lots of pictures of him and he looks nice and also fun.

Azami is very, very nice. She has the same eyes as Kaoru and a few other similar features. They look a little bit like they could be sisters. The way that they talk to each other reminds me of my relationship with Paul. We always feel very comfortable with each other even after we've been apart for a long time and we also like to laugh a lot. Azami and Kaoru laughed a lot. They were probably laughing at me, come to think of it...

Oh well. Azami picked us up at the train station and took us directly to a nice soba restaurant. Soba noodles from this region are famous in Japan. I can see why. It was a beautiful little restaurant and the food was incredible. It was my first soba (I think) and I'm now a fan. This photo gallery begins in this restaurant.

From there, we went to a park that has a tiny, free, feet-only onsen (hot spring). We sat down righth where the water comes out and it was HOT. At first I didn't think it was so hot (atsukunai, ne) but after I while my feet started to really hurt and there were flies buzzing around me. I think they smelled my feet cooking. Check out my big, hairy hobbit-feet next to the smooth-skinned little Japanese ones.

Another park. This one has some nice flowers and a very big clock embedded in the ground. There were quite a few people there, but Kaoru and Azami were the only Japanese people at the park! Lots of tourists.

We settled at Azami and Kou's house, where I was given some gifts of traditional Japanese cleaning towels. They told me that they can also be worn on your head. I don't believe them, but I did it anyways.

Toshiaki is a genius. An artist. Pure and simple, he is the man. I am in awe of what he can do with food. What he served me that night would easily have been worth 10 times what I normally pay for a nice meal and it was worth every yen. There was so much of it, so many small dishes constantly being handed to me. Every bite was heaven. Every taste so different and so good. I ate things that I've never eaten before and would kill to eat again. I ate things that I would normally not eat (fried shrimp heads) and would eat again right this very moment. And the next. And the next.

SUGOI OISHIKATTA YO!!!

Keep in mind, I'm holding back. If I let myself type the things that are going through my mind as I recall that meal, nobody in my family would ever want to read this again. It's the kind of meal that would inspire the most devout and tight-arsed individual to vent a stream of obscenities in pure awe, as though their brain malfunctioned momentarily and they had a sudden onset on Tourette's. When I get home, make sure you only ask me about it when there are no children present.

I am a very, very lucky man. Toshiaki, Kyoko and Azami were so kind to me. They are such nice, sweet people and I'm honoured to have spent some time with them. Arigatoo gozaimashita.

The next day, we drove out into the countryside with Kyoko. We visited a beautiful park that had some art museums and we went to a farm. It had a petting zoo, but none of us really wanted to spend 900 yen to touch some goats. So we had ice cream, instead, and then moved on to the train station that has only 100 meters of train track. Nobody comes and nobody goes. It's called Happy Station. I guess nobody's ever late and nobody ever misses their train.

We didn't miss our train. We came home, very happy.

Chikasugiru!

Now you know how to say "too close" in Japanese. I like to zoom in. Kaoru has lovely eyes and the quadrangle of moles around her mouth and nose are not to be missed, so... "Chikasugiru!"

It's Friday, September 2nd and we're doing a walking tour of Kaoru's alma mater: Hokkaido University. It's a beautiful campus right in downtown Sapporo (just a few blocks from the train station) with quite a few glades where the peaceful feelings just scream at you to sit down and relax. They might also encourage people to study, but I wouldn't know anything about that.

As we're passing by one of the main buildings in the centre ofthe campus, Kaoru points out that it's where she took her final exams. I point out that it's now a museum, which was news to her. Things have changed in the seven years since she learned how to be a midwife. How many babies have passed through birth canals into Kaoru's waiting hands since that time? How bizarre a thought is that?

Anyways, forget about the babies. This museum has DINOSAUR FOSSILS! Coooooool. It also had a display of toilet paper, which isn't nearly as cool but you're getting a photo of it anyways. That, and some ducks. Did you think you could get away with not seeing photos of birds? Think again. (They weren't in the museum - they were in a pond outside the museum.)

Just a few blocks away from the university, we stopped at a tiny cafe that's built of logs, like a cabin on a ski hill. It's called Monte Rosa (I think) and it's a perfect little romantic spot. I've found myself thinking that mom would really enjoy visiting Japan, particularly in places like this one. I'm not so sure about dad, but definitely mom would find Japan to be a treasure trove of delights. Come visit Japan with me some time, mom! Kaoru says, "welcome!"

I didn't get any photos of the restaurant we went to for dinner, but all I can say is that the food was amazing. It always is, here. Pascal, you need to come to Japan. (Kaoru says, "welcome!") I just thought of a new business: food tours of Japan for the French. Anyone would be welcome, really, but the only group of people I can think of that rival the Japanese for gastronomic obsession is the French. Having been raised in a Scottish family, I think that many anglophone cultures view food and eating as something that's bafflingly inconvenient; almost like a bowel movement: necessary but annoying, and not deserving of too much attention. They don't think that way here. Oh, no. They don't. (They think of it as being more like sex. Wink wink nudge nudge say no more! Speaking of sex, I'm going to Kushidori for dinner tonight (Sep 6). It's like little skewers of sexual delight. Wait. Yuck. That conjures some alarming imagery. Screw that.)

After dinner we met up with Jason for a few beers. Note the many photos of him with a frosty beverage in the foreground! That's for you, dude.

This time no story - just a description of some of the photos. It starts in Kaoru's apartment. You get a view from her balcony and morning sunlight streaming in through the windows. Then we head out to Nakajima Park where a statue of kids look up at the sun. Don't look up at the sun, kids. There's a big white rock, a children's playground, a lovely little stream and an extremely sad motorcycle. After that is old architecture and new architecture.

Then we go to the centre of Sapporo: Odori Park; a block wide park that bisects the city. There we see a remote-controlled car and a fountain. Also, a tv tower that's very helpful for when you don't have a watch.

We end things off with a much happier motorcycle (painted to look like it's made of wood), a Doutor coffee mug (mmm... Doutor...) and some views of the famous Sapporo Clock Tower. It's (correct me if I'm wrong) the site of the original university in Sapporo. An American came here in the late 1800s to start a school to teach agriculture. I think it worked. Hokkaido has many excellent farms.

That's all for now. I have TONS more photos; some of them are even interesting! This set's kinda dull (sorry about that) but I wanted to post it anyways. It's simply a start.

There's been too long of a break between the taking of these photos and the posting of these photos, so my memory's kinda dim. The long and short of it is Karly was playing West Coast Wednesday at the Back Stage Lounge with some friends - I hadn't met them and I think I still haven't. Anyways, she asked me to come take photos. I think. Or was it that she asked me to borrow a ukulele and since she was using a Majesty I wanted to make sure there were photos of a Majesty uke in action?

I don't recall.

Well, either way, here's Karly and Friends singing and playing. I'm not too happy with these photos. I've been having troubles focusing lately. I'm not sure if it's me or the camera since most other people I hand the camera to have an even harder time focusing. (The autofocus on one of the lenses quite suddenly went wonky.) But I would far rather see some sharper images here, the background light a different colour and the #$%^ music stand gone.

Next time, Karly, no music stand! And I'll try to take more photos that are actually in focus. Sigh.

Wednesday night is gyoza night. Ah, sweet gyoza; foodstuff of the gods. Invented in China. Perfected in Japan. More precisely, Utsunomiya. Ah, sweet Utsunomiya. Home of the best gyoza in the world. How I miss you.

Whatever. I got Yusuke and Yusuke's got Yuko. She makes excellent gyoza, too!

The real star of the night, though, was Shinnosuke. Shin-chan if you're nasty. It's fun watching children be shy. Kai tends to grimace. Shinnosuke looks downwards and bats his eyes. At first I thought he was having some problems with his eyes, but now I think he was just exhibiting odd shyness mannerisms.

I worked a little bit more with Yusuke on his mad photography skillz. And once again in response to my "don't put my head in the center of the photo" he took a photo that had my head way down in the bottom corner. I can always tell he's taking one of those pictures because the camera is shaking.

Towards the end of the evening, Yuko brought out her list of English words that she wanted to know how to pronounce. We got to talking about difficult English words. If you're Japanese and you can pronounce "want" and "won't" differently and "work" and "walk" differently you're well on your way to losing your accent. So repeat this phrase until you get it right: "I won't want to walk to work."

Sarah, Adam, Abby, JM, Owen, Sequoia and Elliott were all in Hawaii. Now they're back. Someone decided that there should be salmon barbequed at the farm and there could be a congregation and visitations. And that's what happened.

But first, I escorted the Kawakami family to the family farm. They wanted to see and pick blueberries. Yuko has now decided that they should move to Pitt Meadows. Shinnosuke decided that they should simply never leave the farm. But they did. Hey, he's a kid. He was probably going to cry, anyways.

In the late afternoon, everyone arrived and so we cooked food, ate food and digested food. We spent some time figuring out that flips are tricky, especially on a small trampoline. Then we played some soccer. Then I left.

I sure can tell a story, can't I?

So here's the deal: Dan wanted to come out to Vancouver with his rowboat so he could check out the tall ships before they leave. They must be leaving pretty early because he wanted to start at 5:30 am. That's pretty early.

I didn't even know there were tall ships in Vancouver. Apparently there is some kind of thing happening. It's called "Sea Vancouver" and there are tall ships. Which is nice. I just wanted to go for a row.

When it's nice weather, this city looks good in the morning. Too bad this camera keeps getting errors. There are sooo many good photos that didn't work. And it's too bad I forgot to put the ISO back to 100 or 200. The photos are a little grainier than they need to be.

There was an harmonious convergence on Saturday. I hadn't visited my family in a while, I had the day off and pest control had evil plans to fill my house with poison gas.

So I went to the farm.

While I was there I got blueberries and photos of blueberries. If you're craving blueberries but they're too expensive where you are, this is your big chance to at least look at some. I just ate a handful, myself, before uploading this photo gallery. I get them at a very good price. I used to get them for free, back before Dan started running the farm. That was back when I didn't like eating them.

Lucky me.

This is a collection of 9 unpublished galleries that I have collected into one. It's all pretty much the same theme, you see: ukuleles and the people who love them (or create them).

It starts with Virginia and her Larrivee. Virginia plays ukulele and sings at a place called the Orange Room. Don't try to go see her any time soon. She also competes in power lifting competitions and there's one coming up soon, so she's AWOL from that venue. Anyways, she needed some new publicity photos and since I'm trying to learn how to take pictures of actual people (not just ducks) I agreed.

Soon after, Yusuke loaned me a guitar and a uke to take photos of. The uke in question is his way-cool UKE-45 prototype, which is modelled after a Martin D-45. I wasn't too happy with the pictures I took of it, but I knew I'd have more chances to take better ones.

Back to Virginia. Yusuke made her a custom ukulele, with a special hummingbird headstock inlay and gorgeous purple heart binding. When it was done, he asked me to take some picture of that uke and also that uke with Virginia. So I did. Again, not too happy with the results, but I'm learning. I don't think Virginia's too happy with the results either, but if she wants good photos she can find a photographer who actually knows what he's doing! ;-)

The most fun I had, though, was taking pictures of various ukes in my house and on the lawn just outside my house! With the fisheye lens, I can simply hold the uke with one hand and take pictures with the other! The results are unusual, but I think they look very cool.

The "various ukes" are the UKE-45, a very plain (but still beautiful) uke that Yusuke's father Hideho made, and the battered old uke that Uncle Bob brought back from Hawaii 30 years ago.

Oh, and with all these ukes sitting around the place, I've been writing lots of music. Does anyone want to write lyrics for me so I can turn these songs into actual songs and not just chord progression/melodies?...

One of the things about weddings is that (often, anyways) the two "sides" don't know each other. In an effort to remedy this, Clint and Erin hosted a party for everyone to meet. This way we can say "how are you?" at the wedding instead of "who are you?" It's difficult for me to say how well it worked. I think I've met everyone on the bride's side already. And half of them weren't there. So for me it felt more like a reunion of the usual gang. Especially after a few drinks. And, um, a few more.

I swear it's all just a coincidence. Sure, I loved watching Japanese cartoons when I was a kid. I also loved their toys, when I could get them. But the fact that I'm seemingly surrounded by things Japanese lately is more coincidence than obsession.

Yusuke Kawakami is a case in point. I met him totally randomly. I was looking for the words and chords to the song that Steve Martin sings on the beach in the Jerk and I found a forum posting about a luthier who makes amazing ukuleles. Following the link, I ended up at Yusuke's Majesty Ukuleles site. I was blown away. How often do you see something that beautiful? I sent him an email to tell him that his work is incredible and I was proud that he decided to move to my city from his native Japan. He responded with a very friendly email and invited me to his shop. We've been friends ever since.

He's spent some time lately working with his father to learn the finer points of crafting guitars. This is a prototype that he let me borrow so I could take some photos of it. I'd record how beautiful it sounds, but I'm way too crappy a player to do it justice. I'm truly not worthy. Just look at the pictures and marvel.

Kaoru was my guest for 10 days and this is another "guest" gallery. I didn't even notice that the word guest was pulling double-duty until after I wrote it in the title. Apparently I'm clever without even trying! Though if that's the only way I'm clever, that's not a good thing.

Anyways, not only does Kaoru have a nice complete set of photos, documenting many of the places we went and things we did together, she also took lots of pictures of me! And who doesn't love to look at me?

Don't answer that.

If the pictures look like they were taken on cloudy, rainy days it's because they were. Kaoru got to experience the worst of Vancouver. And she wants to come back! Well, now would be a good time. Today.

Where to begin?

Hmm... the real problem is, once I begin, where do I stop? I could go on and on...

You might remember Kaoru from such previous galleries as Yokatta and... um... well, just that one. I've long lamented the fact that I only have a few pictures of her. So when she suddenly decided to come visit me, I started charging the camera batteries.

The good news is that I have many more pictures of my girlfriend. The bad news is that for the ten days she was here, only two of them were sunny: one day while we were in Victoria and the day she went back home.

These pictures are from Victoria.

I wish I had more, but I know I'll be seeing her again.

How fitting is it that a gallery of portraits begins and ends with me? I mean, this is a website dedicated to me, after all. It's my little vanity project and I may as well just work with it rather than against it.

I didn't set out to create a gallery of portraits. It just happened. And it happened within a 24-hour period, too. No, all I did was carry the camera around with me and this gallery's theme is what you might call an emergent property.

It started at the sort of, but not quite, wedding reception for Dave and Bianca, a couple whose emergent properties seem to be happiness and comfort. I wasn't the photographer at the event, so I felt no burning need to get any photos. I was just some guy who happened to have a camera. So why not have some fun? I did.

The sunshine was fantastic, so I wanted to taunt my friends in Sapporo who had just gotten a fresh dumping of snow. Not only that, but I was wearing what some might describe as nice clothes; very rare! So I grabbed Jordan and we went outside to do some pretend modelling. That's what starts us off - Jordan and I being models. Ha!

Then I set myself a little challenge. Jordan's a good-looking guy, but it seems to be remarkably difficult to take a good photo of him. Flushed with what I thought to be some success in that department, I spotted someone else with the same issue: Heidi. Heidi is very pretty, but I've never seen a photo of her that does her justice. And since I'm the best photographer who ever walked the face of the planet, how I could I not be the one to do it? Okay, well the real truth of the matter is that it's digital so there's no waste of money and I didn't have any other responsibilities, but I still think these pictures of her are pretty good. I hope she doesn't mind if she did some unintentional modelling...

Okay then, off to the bar where the low light makes everything the colour of beer. Including the beer!

The next morning I did a little goodbye breakfast with Clint (and Erin.) Erin claims that she's not photogenic. It's not true. Clint makes no such claim. He looks good on film and he knows it. Bastard.

Because it's definitely Spring here!

For the few of you who'll take the time to look at this gallery: I'm sorry. For the even fewer who'll look through all of this gallery: I'm terribly sorry. It's just lots and lots and lots and lots of pictures of pretty much the same thing.

It does have its moments, though. Like the magnolias and what may or may not be apple blossoms and the bumblebee hovering over the rhododendron. I think I must be getting old. When have I ever been interested in flowers? In my defense, I only know the names of some of them because Andrea was with me when I took some of the pictures.

Anyways, it's a nice day again, so I'm going to grab a coffee and go for a walk.

Yup. Definitely getting old.

Or so it would seem. I went for a long walk on Saturday, February 19. It was a very nice day, but most days have been nice lately. What strange weather we're having!

I won't go into the details of the walk (because who really cares?) but on my way back I saw flowers. These brilliant little purple and white flowers growing randomly beside the train tracks. I thought, "What the hell...?" Then I thought, "I should go get my camera, because: what the hell?"

So I did. I got the camera. And I took pictures of flowers. While I was doing this, a man came walking by with a dog. He told me that they were probably planted by squirrels, who love to eat them, but the squirrels in question probably forgot about them. So here they are, just for me to take pictures of, and to give some random guy an opportunity to share his esoteric knowledge about the flower-planting habits of rodents.

Afterwards, I took one of the flowers home to put on display. I don't own a vase, so I used an empty Asahi bottle. I thought it looked okay, but Eutychus thought it was the most dangerous thing ever to exist on the face of the planet. So I moved it to my room, where it promptly wilted.

Make up your own jokes to go with that if you like, but don't share them with me.

A new year brings new opportunities for me to take pictures of beer. But here's an exciting new twist: wine!

When I first showed up at the Backstage Lounge, I was the only one drinking beer. I almost wondered if I had somehow found myself with the wrong group of people. "Are my friends snooty wine-drinkers?" I wondered. "Am I a low-brow beer drinker?"

Sure. Whatever. It was good beer. Winter ales are always yummy.

But I wasn't there to drink beer or fraternize. I wasn't even there to take pictures of beer. I was there to take pictures of Sarah. Which I did. But I got more; a lot more.

At first I was a little nervous. It wasn't because I was the only person drinking beer. Oh no. Everyone was very nice to the mouth-breathing beer drinker. No, I was nervous because I never really feel comfortable taking pictures in such low light settings. It exposes me (no pun intended) for what I am: a hack. And the last time taking pictures for Sarah (of Brent) wasn't very successful, in my opinion.

Ah, but this time was different! Not only was there a big glowing blue thing above the stage (coooool), at this venue the singer has a light on them. Can you even imagine? A light? On the singer!?

You don't need to imagine it, you mouth-breathing low-brow. Just look at the pictures!

Oh, and it was nice meeting new people (Lindsay, Sherry, Janelle, Jill, Marius (?), August (?), Trevor, John, Stacey (?)), people I don't get to see very often (Eve, Bronwyn, J.O., Katie, Erin) and the usual crew (Sarah, Paul, Jeanette, Kelly)

NOTE: Some of these photos were taken by J.O. Erikson. I know that on page 10, the top right and bottom left photos are his. I'm not sure if any of the others are...

Palm trees covered with snow and ice, Clint sticking his head in a weiner then dancing in a gazebo at night, and sushi with beautiful women. It just doesn't get any better than this!

How did it all come to pass? Well, weinerboy called me up and asked me if I wanted to see a movie. I said yes. Then I called him back a few minutes later and said no. Why sit in a big room with other people and stare at a screen when you can walk around a frozen downtown Vancouver in the snow, taking pictures, and then go to some hip joint for a drink and some snacks?

I call Clint weinerboy simply because there is a picture of him sticking his head in a weiner. Don't believe me? It's on page two. The bigger question, of course, is why there is a weiner on the sidewalk that has a hole for people to stick their heads in. I don't have an answer to that question, so don't bother asking me.

A little further on, along the shoreline at English Bay, we came upon some palm trees covered in snow and ice. How often do people see that? As often as they check out this photo gallery, now! One of the leaves had icicles dangling down that made it look like a scary clawed hand. Oooh. Pages three and four for that excitement.

We got to the big tree with lights in it, which isn't quite as much fun to take pictures of as I expect it to be, then we hit the gazebo in the park. Clint's a good sport. He was willing to dance in the gazebo, just like the Sound of Music. Well, not just like it. Not only did he not have his Liesl with him, but his dancing consisted entirely of running around with his arms trailing behind him.

Then we got a phone call from Liesl, I mean Erin. Would we like to join her at a restaurant on Robson, along with her sister Melissa (who actually reads the stuff I write!) and her Mom? Of course! Where are you? Beside Gyoza King. What!? Why would you be beside Gyoza King and not in Gyoza King??? Poor Clint had to listen to me rant the whole way there.

But it was a good time, and I'm going to guess that the good times were entirely a result of the company, because it wasn't Gyoza King and because our waitress was... how shall I put this? ... a $#%ing $^#+.

Oh BTW, Melissa: if you have an extra 17,000 yen, you can buy one of those dogs. They were very cute and very friendly. After I took the picture of them, I put my hand down near the cage and got a hand-licking from a couple of tail-wagging puppies. Just don't let them near your animal-slaughtering parents.

Heh heh. Huge, is it? I think perhaps that my friends in other parts of Canada, as well as Japan, would sneer at me if I described 6 inches (15 cm) of snow over 3 days as a snowstorm.

But this is Vancouver. Snow is for ski mountains. We don't do snow. It's cold and it's slippery and it makes our hills more than a little bit scary to drive on. So we stay home and take photos.

At least, that's what I did. And I would have gotten more nice photos if it weren't so damn cold and slippery out there!

This Best Of features pictures both close to and far from home. In fact, a number of them are in my home! Picture of Eutychus and roommate Paul are followed by pictures in Miami of other people's parrots and Pat! Then we go to Banff to spend a few days with Clint and Erin.

It didn't happen in that order, but the automatic numbering of the camera got to the end and then started again from zero! It wasn't until shortly after these photos that I started renaming them.

The first and last of these are two of my absolute favourites. A domesticated parrot in a tree and a wild chipmunk hanging around humans.

From Vancouver to Victoria

This is a selection of what I think are my best photos in the first half of 2004. And by best I mean that I think they look not half bad. I'm not really a professional photographer (though you can feel free to give me money in exchange for photos) nor do I think of myself as an artist, so all I really care about is how much I like the way something looks.

This selection marks the start of a few things. One thing is me taking a crapload of photos. The other is me starting to get healthy. Finally, this glut of photos spurred me to redo this website, so I could show the photos to my friends.

These photos are culled from four walks in Kitsilano, one trip to Victoria with Pascal, and a surprise visit from a flustered crow. You might disagree with some of my choices. Get your own damn camera and website. (^_^)mln

Happy New Year!

Or so we'd like to believe.

I live in a great little house in Vancouver. It's owned by my cousin Paul, who lives in the upstairs part with his lovely wife, Andrea. I share the basement suite with a guy, who also happens to be named Paul.

All of that just to be able to say that this News Years I got to go to a party within stumbling distance of my home, without having to host it myself. As Jeff from the show Coupling would say, "Result!"

There aren't very many pictures in this set. Part of the reason is that I was pissing people off by taking pictures. Also, I don't really like taking pictures indoors. It's an annoyance having to deal with so many lighting issues. But I would like to thank Adam for teaching me that the flash can be twisted around into all sorts of special shapes, allowing me to bounce the light off the ceiling and not directly at people. Who knew? Obviously, not me.

When I was a kid, I lived for two times per year. One was the summer, when we'd all head up to one or two camps on Anvil Island, or maybe just to the family cabin on the same island. The other time was Christmas, when I'd get to spend a big chunk of time with my cousins, on both sides of the family, some of whom were my best friends then and still are.

These days, though, I don't find myself drawn to either event. What do they hold for me? Not the same kind of excitement. The family cabin has been at least somewhat de-familied, at least for my immediate family and the camp has lost its appeal. Christmas is now for the next generation; it's a great time for kids, but not quite so special for semi-young single guys.

I could switch to the Japanes-style Christmas with the KFC and the romantic couples time, I guess... Who's up for a romantic night out on the town on Christmas and some fried chicken? It'll have to be in Japan, because everything here is closed on Christmas. Which works for me!

Anyways, we had the big family do on Mom's side of the family almost a week after Christmas. Since Paul is on that side of the family, we drove out together. The gallery starts off with some pictures in the car. They're strange, but I like 'em. There's one of me that might frighten small children. Yikes! Boku wa sugoku kowai desu ne.

Then there are pictures of the family. I'm not going to list everyone; my family's too big. But I will say that the food was excellent, as always! Mmm...

It all ends where it began: in the car. Best wishes to everyone. Well, almost everyone.

Today I went for a walk 'round False Creek. It was a four-hour-long walk. My feet are sore. I got some decent photos of this city on a sunny winter day, though.

Okay, so it's still two or three days away from winter. It's winter enough.

It was all Pete's idea. He's getting prepped to do some kick-ass hikes in the spring. In fact, he walked much farther than I did. As far as I know, he also went around Stanley Park and then came home through downtown. I'm not sure, because I stopped just before English Bay.

Near the Maritime Museum, there was an eagle perched on top of the totem pole. You know, that really big one with the suspicious looking knob on top. No, that isn't phallic at all, is it? Ah, but when you zoom in with a camera it starts to look strangely Mexican. Nice sombrero, dude. And by the way, there is a bald eagle on your head.

A bald eagle getting dive-bombed by a crow. And me without my zoom lens!

Is this a nice looking city, or what? It just needs some decent photographers to capture it properly. Hey Adam! I know you just got back from Osaka, but get off your ass and get out there!

Oooh! Look at the strange man taking pictures of himself in the dark!

If anyone wants to model for me, that would be great! Otherwise I have to just take pictures of myself. I know it may seem to be something that I really like doing, but it's actually more something that makes me laugh because it's dorky and ridiculous. And it's only funny for a short while. Then it stops being funny, even for a mind as small as my own.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, will you be my friend? Especially if you're photogenic.

I sent some of these photos to a friend in Japan. Her comment:

Thanks for the photos from Vancouver. Though they are fantastic, when I imagined that you took pictures of yourself with a smile at night all alone, I laughed again.^^#) Sorry.. I think you had better take someone or me with you next time. Zettai ayashii yo! .-")

So I guess I do have a volunteer for the job of model, but she lives in Japan and the job pays nothing. I'm still out of luck...

BTW, 'zettai ayashii yo' means 'highly suspicious'. Nothing new for me! Oh, and she says she laughed again because she had already been laughing at other pictures of me. Nothing new for me...

I've taken photos indoors before. A few days ago, in fact. But I've never done band shots in a bar. It's quite different. But Brent wants a website and Sarah (his website developer) wants photos of Brent.

That's my cue.

And here's my prima donna whinefest: how am I supposed to take pictures of a 7-foot-tall man who stands almost behind the speakers and right in the only spot on stage that isn't lit? And what's with singing with your eyes closed? Bah!

The good news is that I like one or two of the pictures. Especially the ones near the bar. And I also took pictures of friends, which is always fun. Nate's parents showed up. Who doesn't love Nate's parents? Nobody. Nobody doesn't love them. For good reason. And speaking of reasons, I have one more: they bought us drinks! Thank you!

I think next time I'll just take photos of people up at the bar. The Coppertank has gorgeous lighting at the bar. I got a shot of our lovely waitress Jen, as she was doing a crossword at the bar. The shot of her posing at the wall was taken by Pete. She wouldn't pose for me! Hmm...

Also appearing on stage were Pete and Nate and Sean. Also also appearing on stage: Sarah and Paul, for a few songs. Also appearing at our table were Pete and Jeanette. And for a very short time, some South African guy who had taken some kind of drug. I don't know what it was but I don't recommend it.

BTW, two things to keep in mind with these photos: One is that they are very dark. I know, I know. But it's a fair representation of the environment! The other thing is that they may look out of focus at times, but they're really just long exposure. Or long enough to look blurry. I think they give the photos a sort of soft warmth. No, really.

It's a Hollywood party, so dress Hollywood! Those were my instructions. At first I was going to go as Tom Cruise (there's a story behind this, but I won't tell it here) but all I had was my cheesy Ray-Ban aviator glasses. And I wanted to take pictures, but why would Tom Cruise have a camera?

Duh. Go as papparazzi! So I did. And if the number of photos with people holding up their middle finger is any indication, I think that I managed to do it convincingly. If anyone had been there as Sean Penn, I probably would have been beat up.

Quite a few photos of friends in this gallery. Clint, demonstrating yet again that he is golden; he cannot take a bad photo. I don't think that I quite managed to capture the glory of his David Beckham (is he Hollywood?) faux-hawk, though. And Erin looked smashing with her J-Lo ass extensions. I had a really good picture of Erin's friend Ange, but she almost started to cry so I deleted it. I guess I'm not so good at being paparazzi after all... Oh and Sarah, Kelly, George, Ken and Wayne... did I forget anyone? Ian? Don? Erin the hostess?

I broke out of my usual party routine by actually dancing and talking to people that I don't know. Who'd have thought that partying could be fun? Not me! I think I made an ass of myself, but do I care? Nope. If nothing else, I managed to make a contact that could get me into some kind of rowing thing. It would be nice to get back out onto the water, and since brother Dan refuses to give me that canoe he made, this may be my best chance!

Dan sure likes to talk about sharing... :P

Wooooooooooooo!